Previous Page Next Page

MCN Bike Show at ExCel

I love the smell of bacon in the morning; smells like... victory. Especially after a slight brown-trouser moment negotiating my first ever loose gravel car-park and resigning to parking in a puddle at 8:30 in the morning!

In the previous weeks, after much deliberation and numerous problems with directions to a designated tea-hut meeting point, we decided to change the plans altogether and ended up at a roadside cabin at Whipps Cross. Teas, coffees and bacon rolls were the weapons of choice to stock the large bellies of the members riding out to the MCN bike show at the ExCel. Weather was far from the predicted snow and rain (thankfully) and it wasn't long before we were filtering past the traffic into the car parks.

At ExCel, after depositing our gear in the cloakrooms, we got our hands stamped with what looked like a large red smudge and picked up the fancy VIP lanyard (which I don't think i even looked at), and wandered into the main area. My eyes instantly fell upon two scantily clad Carole Nash ladies giving out free stuff while wearing blue lycra that clung to their bodies as if they were shrink-wrapped in it ... it was going to be a good day!

I spent the next hour or so wandering around with a mate looking for clothing for him to match his yellow Triumph. This was no easy task (due to yellow being an ugly colour for both a bike and leather) and this was soon abandoned after finding a gorgeous black and white 2 piece Frank Thomas suit which cost considerably more than he intended on spending. After that we meandered through the crowds, surprisingly disappointed at the lack of motorbikes on show. He was upset with the absence of a Triumph stand, and I had become frustrated by the large number of nice bikes that couldn't be sat on, and was more growing more aware of the distinct absence of clothing on some of the women that were handing out free stuff! I rapidly gave up with the 'bike' aspect of the show and was now more interested in the hotpants-wearing eye-candy.

Shortly after bidding farewell to my mate who had gone home for a hot date with his fiancee and the leather Frank Thomas suit (I didn't ask any more questions), I resigned myself to some shopping and ornithology. Both progressed splendidly.

I purchased a bargain Shoei tinted visor and pin-lock insert; a pair of warm gloves to reduce numb-fingers; and a rather nice T-shirt which I hope will increase my already astronomical street-cred. My outlandish purchase of the day was a large set of leather-look panniers which I aim to put to good use after experiencing the discomfort of riding with a backpack, and deciding to re-evaluate the logistical means of transporting all the alcohol I'm going to buy on the 2 upcoming club day-trips to France! (25 May and 22 June take note)

The most enjoyable part of the show for me was the last hour or so which I spent loitering with intent around the MCN stall.

I was happier than Steve at a Stella brewery!

My camera was working overtime snapping the MCN babes in a plethora of positions, strewn over some ugly plastic sportsbike things. God bless the inventor of those tiny, tiny shorts! I noticed a large number of passing women looking on disgusted at how the models were displaying themselves and their 'goods' with such reckless abandon. This made me feel a little awkward about so openly taking photos of these semi-naked strangers... They seemed to be enjoying themselves though, smiling and winking at the cameras, so i didn't feel too chauvinistic about the whole experience. Let's just say I didn't lose any sleep over it ... quite the opposite actually!

Shortly after that (around 2-3pm) I figured it was a good time to call it quits as I was in desperate need of a cold shower, and decided to meet up with the other members who had gathered around the Honda stand/Mothership. There weren't a lot of bikes I could sit on that interested me, and it seemed to be getting busier and hotter too, so some of us decided to leave.

After my first ever bike show in November at the NEC, I can't help but feel a little disappointed with the ExCel show.

There was potential for a huge event with lots of manufacturers and more semi-naked women, but everything was crammed into the one area and there definitely weren't enough women.

All in all, it was a fun day and much better than sitting at home watching the Eastenders omnibus.

Day rating: 7/10 ... potential for an 8 if there had been more women wearing less, and more big shiny bikes to sit on.

Teachers pet (AKA Steve Saffer)

Previous Page Next Page